Taming our Tongues
“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” (James 1:26)
Abraham Lincoln once famously said, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” It is no small challenge to hold our tongue. Multiple studies show that people tend to speak at least 7,000 words per day (some studies suggest the average exceeds 10,000 words). This poses challenges for all us—we all struggle to use our words wisely. Fortunately, the book of James provides some helpful counsel in the area of speech that is relevant today.
James calls us to be quick to do one thing – and slow to do two others: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger….” (James 1:19). It is the heart of folly to be too ready to speak, and too slow to listen. James’ practical advice resonates with the wisdom offered in the book of Proverbs in matters of speech. For instance, Proverbs 29:11 states, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” And Proverbs 17:27 states, “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips he is deemed intelligent.” Clearly, there is wisdom in holding our tongue. This applies, of course, to both our verbal conversation and our written speech (emails, social media, texts, etc.) We live in a rapid-fire world. We’ve all seen the damage that comes from an instantaneous response—the scathing reply to an email or the angry response to a social media post.
James highlights the fact that there is a real risk in using our words during seasons of trial and testing. Why exactly? Well, the pressure is on. We’re tired. We’re emotionally worn. We’re in a spiritually vulnerable place. And when the harsh word or criticism comes, we’re inclined toward a knee-jerk reaction—a rapid response. We want to fight fire with fire, and so we let slip the verbal dogs of war. Rather than quietly and prayerfully processing things—rather than waiting upon the Lord—we give vent to our feelings in our words. We moan, we complain, we blame, and we rant. Our rapid speech—our ill-judged, angry words—become the point at which our response to trial becomes sinful. As James explains, “for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20).
So when the pressure is on—when we’re tempted toward ungodly anger—we need to slow down our speech and speed up our listening. But what exactly are we supposed to listen to? James is concerned for us to listen to one voice in particular—the voice of God. Notice his emphasis upon the word of God in the verses surrounding his admonition to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (verse 19). In verse 18, James writes, “Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.” Then, in verse 22, James writes, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” And in verse 25, James speaks of God’s “perfect law”. In seasons of trial, the key is to study God’s word to learn and implement God’s counsel for the pressure-filled situations that we face.
This week, as trials and pressures mount, practise this new habit: hold your tongue and open your Bible. As verse 21 puts it, “Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.”